Out of place

I feel so.. out of place.
I'm happy to have made it and gotten into the cca of my choice.
But again... I don't feel that I belong there.

The 2 rounds of elimination and I'm one of the few left standing.
I should be pound of myself no?

Why don't I feel so?

I keep wondering how it was I even got there.
What was it I had that convinced them to chose me?
Why me?
Why not someone else?
What did they see?

As I look at everyone else there... I feel inferior...
Everyone else was open and having fun.
Everyone had a group of friends.
Or at least a friend with them.
I didn't.

At least there's someone from my class too.
She's great.
A great person.
It's not surprising she got in.
But how in the world did I?

I keep asking myself.
What is it I have that the others didn't?
I still come up blank.

I don't think there's anything special about me.
I don't have any ability whatsoever.

Again, as I look around me at those other great people that have been chosen.
A fear comes up within me and I start to panic...
What if I do something wrong?
What if.. the teachers find that they made a mistake in choosing me?
What if...

I've never felt so uncertain and insecure.
I keep thinking that my every move is checked.
That within a group filled with great people, I'll be standing out...
Not as the greatest, but one of the worst...

I'm afraid I won't do well enough.
I'm afraid I'll be given the boot.