GRRRRRRRRR...........

Ever feel left out?
Feel that sometimes you're left out on purpose?

I always do.
Maybe it's me being paranoid or something. *shrugs*
But I hate the feeling of not knowing.
So I just shut up.
If you know nothing, there is nothing to say.
Unless you wanna make a fool out of yourself and say something wrongly.

So get this.
It is not because I don't want to talk.
It's because I don't know what you're taling about.
So I have nothing to add to the conversation. Period.
I am not having mood-swings.
I AM NOT oblivious to what is going on around me.
It's a matter of whether I chose to respond to it or not.
I do listen, whether you know it or not does not concern me.
But DO NOT. I repeat, DO NOT, ever treat me as though I am not there.
That's when I really get pissed and really don't feel/ want to talk at all.

I admit.
I'm a very insecure person.
I always think that what I do is wrong.
That i may unintentionally say something wrong or hurt someone.
Another one of my many faults.
Maybe I shouldn't care so much.
I keep telling myself that.
It just has no effect on me.

No idea why.
But I hate it horribly.
It's a weakness I cannot stand most of the time.
When I recognise the feeling in me, I respond in a weird way.
Another reason why I don't talk.
I mean come on.
If you don't say anything, nothing can go wrong no?

I have no idea why I'm even writing this here.
It's the spur of the moment thing.
Once I gain my senses, it will disappear.